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The Spoof, June 6, 2008

Bush Administration Hides US Dead from Iraq and Afghanistan

Countless coffins have come home looking like Citrus fruit from the Florida orange groves.

The New York Times Book Review revealed this week that the Bush administration has tried to hide more war casualties and fatalities than any US administration in history.

Reporters have found that the Bush administration has used the following unorthodox methods of shipping dead soldiers home:

Matthis Chiroux
Matthis Chiroux: "This occupation is unconstitutional and illegal and I hereby lawfully refuse to participate as I will surely be a party to war crimes." (watch video)

1- The coffin in the cardboard box- supposedly to protect the coffin wood according to Bush administration undertakers (the fastest growing position in the Republican government), countless coffins have come home looking like Citrus fruit from the Florida orange groves.

2- The Ash Bin- the Roman Catholic Church has helped the Pentagon ship tons of cremains home under the guise of Ash Wednesday Blessed Ashes.

3- Fertilizer- Some US dead soldiers have found their way back to the old sod as fertilizer. They died for oil and now they help biofuels grow!

Since no one has actually seen an US soldier's corpse from Bush's double wars, the administration is claiming a zero death toll in their failed wars of conquest.

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